Konohamaru's Gift: The Ultimate Vacation
by x se
Summary: To get some alone time with Hanabi, Konohamaru ships Naruto and co. off on a vacation. But will our heroes survive chaotic train rides, perverted teachers, stalkers, and other misadventures? Find out! (Many pairings, no yuriyaio though)
1. Ch1: Dead People and Normal Teachers are

_**Konohamaru's Gift**_

Summary: To get some alone time with Hanabi, Konohamaru ships Naruto and co. off on a vacation. But will our heroes survive chaotic train rides, perverted teachers, stalkers, and other misadventures? Find out!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", and the train. So far anyway… 

"REALLY!?" exclaimed Naruto in shock. His friend nodded. "What's in it for you…?"

"Well… With her sister away, my sweet Hanabi-chan will finally go out with me!" yelled Konohamaru with a grin.

"So… You're giving me a free vacation for me and my friends… YOU ROCK!"

Naruto ran through the streets of Konoha searching for his friends, and bumped into a group.

"AHA!" yelled Naruto. He turned to the sand siblings and thrust the tickets in their hands and yelled. "COME OR DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

Then Naruto ran off to find the rest of his friends…

Later, Naruto, along with Sakura, Sasuke, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Lee, TenTen, Neji, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Jiraya, Kakashi, Anko, and Hinata's team all sat outside the train station.

"Now before we go, we have to thank two very special people, besides me of course, for without whom, this vacation would never be possible!" yelled Naruto happily. Then he walked over to Hinata and pulled her forward. "Thanks to my good friend Konohamaru for the tickets! AND, thank you Hinata for coming."

"Uh… What's so special about me…?" asked a blushing Hinata. Naruto whispered something in her ear and everyone stared. Hinata turned away from Naruto with wide eyes and her mouth agape.

"What did you say to Hinata-chan!?" yelled Kiba. Before Naruto could respond, Hinata started yelling in a chibi version of her voice.

"I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE!" screamed Hinata excitedly as she ran around crazily. "I'M GONNA BE DA BESTEST AUNTIE IT DA WHOLE WIDE WORLD!"

Everyone gaped at the normally quiet girl, who was now screaming about birthday parties and gifts.

"Uh… Oops…" said Hinata with a red face. She ran into the train, and slowly everyone else followed her.

The inside of the train was interesting. On one side of the aisle, there was a huge buffet, and on the other was a row of seats of 2.

"Okay!" yelled Naruto. "I have made seating arrangements! Come here to see who you're paired with!"

"What's he up to…?" Ino asked Sakura, who shrugged.

"Probably is sitting next to me…" mumbled Sakura. She turned to the seating chart.

Kakashi-Anko

Kiba-Shino

Sasuke-TenTen

Neji-Gaara

Temari-Ino

Sakura-Lee

Shikamaru-Kankuro

Chouji-Jiraya

No One

No One

No One

Hinata

Naruto

Bathrooms

"Hey!" yelled Sakura. "What's up with this chart!? I'm not with Sasuke-kun!"

"Follow the chart or LEAVE!" yelled Naruto sternly. Everyone quietly got into their seats. Hinata turned to look behind her to see Naruto giggling like crazy.

"What's so funny Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata. Naruto looked up at her, then pulled her into the seat beside him.

"I have a funny prank in mind, but I need your help…" said Naruto, and began to whisper in Hinata's ear. Hinata never knew her face could get so red…

Naruto dragged Hinata into the bathroom, which was actually a room full of porta-potties. Naruto pulled Hinata into one, and Hinata gasped.

"Kyuubi eats humans…" said Naruto loudly. The back of the porta-potty opened and there was another room behind it. Hinata gasped and Naruto grinned and pulled her inside.

"This room… IT'S SO BIG!" yelled Hinata in shock. "HOW CAN IT FIT IN HERE!?"

"IT'S SO BIG! HOW CAN IT FIT IN HERE!?"

"What… Are… They… Doing…?" stammered Sakura as she turned to the bathroom's door.

"Naruto has become a man!" yelled Jiraya proudly. Sakura fainted dead away when she figured out what he meant.

"No way…" said Shino and Kiba. HINATA!?

Meanwhile, Anko was whistling, trying not to glance at Kakashi's book.

"Is something wrong Anko-chan…?" purred Kakashi. Anko's eyes widened and she took the book out of his hands and began reading it, and obviously enjoying it. 'I have found my soul mate…'

"No!" yelled Ino. "Now the perverts have turned a WOMAN into a pervert!"

"And Naruto and Hinata are making babies!" yelled Sasuke. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"This is the coolest room I've ever seen…" said Hinata in awe. There was a big screen TV, a Shinobi Sphere hooked up to it, a pool table, three couches, a coffee table with snacks… Pure bliss…

"Yeah, well me and Konohamaru, your future brother in law heh heh, designed it!" chirped Naruto happily. "Hey… Have you ever played Kitsune-pon?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Hinata with glittery eyes. "You have it?"

Naruto grinned and Hinata, empowered by videogame love and confidence, ran over to the Shinobi Sphere and turned it on. She motioned for Naruto to join her, so he walked over to the couch after picking up a controller.

In the game, Kitsune-pon, you first input your personality, then you design a fox. Your fox will interact, and sometimes fight, the other player's foxes. It was the most popular video game in Konoha.

Naruto's fox's fur was the same color as his hair, it had blue eyes, was giant, and had nine tails. Hinata's was a pale white with pale eyes like her's. It was small, and named Chibi-Kitsune, and Naruto's was named Kyuubi.

"Let's watch!" chirped Naruto as they set up the game. The players watched their foxes interact until a fight came, then the players took over.

In the Game…

"Hello Chibi-Kitsune!" chirped Kyuubi as he bounded over to the pale fox, who smirked.

"Hey baby… Miss me…?" purred the girl fox.

Naruto and Hinata…

"Uh… Hinata… Uh… Well… Uh… Are you a pervert?" stammered Naruto.

"When it comes to you Naruto-kun… Yesssss…" slurred Hinata. Naruto realized something was wrong with Hinata. Hinata pushed her hands inside Naruto's shirt and licked his cheek. Then Naruto noticed someone else was in the room. He turned and saw… Hinata?

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"What was that?" asked Ino curiously as she peered over to where the bathroom was.

"**CAN YOU SHUT UP!? I'M TRYING TO READ HERE!"** roared Anko as she sat up and turned to the bathroom. Naruto came running out of it looking very very scared.

"What's up Naruto?" stammered Sakura. Hinata ran over to Naruto and whimpered.

"Get away from me!" yelled Naruto as he jumped into the buffet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Chouji as he began to sob.

"No!" yelled Hinata. "There's someone else on this train! Naruto-kun, please… She switched with me when we turned on the video game!"

"Good, because I didn't think you were a pervert…" said Naruto as a matter of factly. "So come out, evil pervert Hinata!"

Everyone stared then the door to the bathroom opened again, and there was a Hinata.

"Where'd ya go Naruto honey…?" moaned the other Hinata. Hinata got mad and threw a kunai at the fake, and it turned into…

"HAKU!?" exclaimed Naruto and Sasuke in shock. "B-But… You're dead!"

"No my beloved Naruto…" purred Haku as he ran over to Naruto and kissed his hand, which was pulled away. "I did not die… I was reborn in fact… Make love to me my sweet!"

Naruto threw Haku out the window, and took Hinata back to the video game room.

"Nooooooooooooo…" said the last thing heard from Haku before the train sped past the patch of grass the Mist Nin landed on.

"Um… I'm just gonna start serving the food…" said a Kage Bushin, courtesy of Naruto.

"**SHUT UP! IT WAS JUST GETTING HOT! **Uh… I mean good…" said Anko angrily as she glared at the children, then went back to Icha Icha Paradise.

_Well, what do you think? My first attempt at Naruto humor. I'm working on an action fic, but I don't know any of Hinata's or Ino's skills… Anyway, tell me what you guys think! Thanks!_

**Sevetenks, the Ultimate Fusion**


	2. Ch2: Broken hearts, Kakashi’s new book,

_**Konohamaru's Gift**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides (Chapter One) The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", the train, and (Chapter Two) Kakashi's new book. So far anyway…

Konohamaru's Gift

Chapter 2: Broken hearts, Kakashi's new book, and another Dead Guy…

"I love this game Naruto-kun!" squealed Hinata as the real Chibi-Kitsune went chasing after bugs while Kyuubi was making bonfires. It was cute to watch the foxes just hang out while eating nachos, Hinata and Naruto wholeheartedly agreed on that.

"Yup!" chirped Naruto. "Hey Hinata-chan…"

"Yeah?" stammered Hinata, starting to blush against Naruto's gaze.

"We forgot to do the prank!" exclaimed Naruto. "But… I have a new idea!"

"HOLY CHEESE!" (Quote: Everyone's favorite spirit detective) yelled Kakashi and Jiraya when the Kage Bushin Sexy No Jutsu-ed. The Kage Bushin didn't seem to notice and kept serving food, and soon all the males, save Gaara and Shikamaru who were happily sleeping, (Lee had fainted when he saw the Sexy No Jutsu, not having any perverted thoughts) were suffering nosebleeds seeing the… "bouncing" and the females were glaring at Kakashi and Jiraya who were fawning over the Kage Bushin.

"What?" said the clone, then shrieked. "Hey! The idiot original did this!" And with that, the clone disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"Wow…" said Jiraya dreamily, then he got a dazed expression and got a severe nosebleed before falling to the ground. Gaara chose then to wake up. He looked around and whined.

"You guys decided to kill them and didn't ask me to help?" whimpered the Sand Nin. Kakashi went back to reading and Anko was too absorbed in Icha Icha-land to have noticed the Kage Bushin in the first place.

"Hey Ino…" started Temari.

"Yeah?" replied Ino.

"Where are Naruto and Hinata?" asked Temari.

"Making… Babies…" groaned Sasuke. He still seemed to be unconscious.

"Okaaaay… I'm gonna see what's going on back there…" muttered Temari as she stood up and walked over to the bathroom. She noticed one porta-potty was slightly different, so she opened the door, and saw the video game room. "Whoa!"

Hinata and Naruto were NOT "making babies" as Sasuke had bluntly put it, but playing the most popular video game in the village. And having a grand old time. Temari smiled, and left the two to their "date".

"Hiya Hanabi-chan!" chirped Konohamaru happily as he looked through Hanabi's window (Not peeping you morons, he's ten or something…) while wearing a tuxedo and holding a bouquet.

"Oh… Kono-kun…" said Hanabi dryly as she looked out the window. 'Remember… Play hard to get… You'll never get him in bed if you don't… Whatever that means…' "What do _you_ want?"

"Want to go to the Ichiraku?" chirped a tomato-faced Konohamaru.

"Well… I did have a date with Udon tonight…" said Hanabi nonchalantly. 'How will he react?'

"Wh-What…?" stammered Konohamaru as he dropped the flowers. He face paled and his young heart burst into a million pieces. He turned so she wouldn't see him cry. "I… Have to go…"

"That didn't work…" muttered Hanabi as she jumped out the window. 'Damn it! I shouldn't have taken that idiot magazine's advice! I was kidding! Well, at least I know he cares… I wonder what would've happened if I acted like Hinata-baka…?'

"Ah-cheeeew!" sneezed Hinata. Naruto looked at her slyly. "What Naruto-kun?"

"Ahchoo! Somebody's thinkin' about you!" said Naruto in Botan's voice. Hinata just stared at him. "Uh… I'll go get some more nachos…"

"Hey Ino-pig!" whispered Sakura. Ino and Temari looked at her.

"What?" asked the annoyed blonde.

"Is it just me, but does Lee-san look cute when he sleeps?" asked Sakura with a red face. Ino shuddered and passed out while Temari looked over the seat.

"Um… Whatever…" said the sand girl.

"Where's Naruto?" asked Gaara.

"Making… Babies…" moaned Sasuke as he sat up rubbing his nose. TenTen smacked him with a very big kunai and he fell back on the ground.

"Wow…" said Anko amazedly as she finished the book. She turned to Kakashi, who was busy reading "How To Get Crazy Snake Girls Fall In Love With You Without Looking Stupid". Anko suddenly stared at Kakashi, then the book, smiled, and had a severe nosebleed, much worse then the ones the boys or Jiraya had ever had in their lives.

"Hm?" said Kakashi in surprise. His eyes got hearts in them when he saw Anko "sleeping". "This is the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life…"

"Is Kakashi-sensei… Sentimental?" whispered TenTen to Sakura.

"No, he's a perv!" whispered Sakura. 'Do I like Sasuke-kun or Lee-san…? Oh I can't decide!'

'Which one has a bigger ding-dong?' asked Inner Sakura, and before Sakura could kill her, she had a nosebleed.

'Wow, something must be wrong with you if your Inner self is a perv, yet you aren't…' thought Sakura as (in her mind) she poked Inner Sakura's twitching body. Sakura was about to poke Lee, when the window burst open, revealing…

"Babies…" moaned Sasuke. TenTen hit him with the giant kunai again.

"ZABUZA?" screeched Sakura in surprise.

"Where is he?" spat Zabuza angrily.

'Who's the freak without the eyebrows?' wondered TenTen.

'A kindred spirit! No eyebrows and a demon, like me!' thought Gaara.

'I don't wanna die…' sobbed Sakura.

"Where is who?" asked Temari.

"My love… My Haku…" said Zabuza sadly. "I never got to tell him before we were reborn…"

"Uh… He's out there somewhere…" said Sakura, pointing outside the train.

"Farewell!" yelled Zabuza as he jumped out of the window. Sakura sweatdropped and Ino woke up.

"I miss anything?" asked Ino sleepily. Sakura sighed.

"Nothing mu-" started Sakura, but was interrupted.

"So many… Babies…" moaned Sasuke.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" screeched TenTen as she began attacking him with a mallet. "Why couldn't I sit next to Neji-kun…?"

"Hey Naruto-kun?" stammered Hinata. Naruto turned away from the game and to Hinata.

"Yes Hinata-chan?" asked Naruto.

"Do you think Hanabi will be pregnant yet when we get back? I WANT TO BE AN AUNT!" yelled Hinata. Naruto shrugged and stuffed some nachos in his mouth.

"Um…" said Naruto after a few moments of silince.

"Hey Naruto-kun… Who's driving the train?" asked Hinata. Naruto smiled.

"Why, Iruka-sensei of course!" chirped Naruto. "He's gonna take us to a ton of places!"

"Stupid free trip…" muttered a frustrated Chunin at the front of the train as he shoveled coal into the engine. "Stupid coal… Stupid…"

"Step One: Give her presents. Icha Icha Paradise is a present… Check!"

Kakashi turned to the object of his affections, who was moaning in her sleep.

"Step Two: Take her to dinner… Not check… Man, I've only done one step? I'm pathetic…"

"Poor Kakashi-sensei…" said Sakura to Ino. "He really loves Anko-sensei… And he;s not being perverted about it either…"

"I have an idea!" exclaimed Ino with a grin. After a quick seal, Ino fell asleep, and Anko woke up.

"Oh Kaka-kun…" whispered Anko seductively. Kakashi's visible eyes widened, and you could tell through his mask that he was surprised, and even more so when she ripped it off and kissed him. Then she fell back to sleep and Ino woke up.

"Uh…" stammered Temari and Sakura. Then Sakura asked. "Did you see his face?"

Ino was clutching her face and blushing like crazy. "Ooohhh… That face… That kiss… Wow…"

Ino fell to the ground with a nosebleed.

"IS EVERYONE PERVERTS?" screeched Sakura, causing Shikamaru to wake up.

"What the hell is so troublesome you had to yell?" asked Shikamaru angrily. Then he saw Ino and his eyes widened. "She's dead…? Noooo!" Shikamaru paled and fainted.

"Well this is an odd trip…" muttered Temari. TenTen agreed.

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh…" said Haku from the top of the train. "Naruto-kun… You will be mine…"

End Chapter 2


	3. Ch3: Bad guys, “New” loves, and Hanabi W

_**Konohamaru's Gift**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides (Chapter One) The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", the train, and (Chapter Two) Kakashi's new book. Nothing new in chapter 3 really…

**_Konohamaru's Gift_**

**_Chapter 3: Bad guys, "New" loves, and Hanabi Worshippers_**

"Kono-kun!" yelled Hanabi as she ran after the heartbroken boy. "Come back here!"

'I was too late…' sobbed Konohamaru in his mind. Inside his mind, you see a chibified Konohamaru sobbing inside a temple worshipping Hanabi. Oh yeah, the temple is demolished. The chibi Konohamaru is rebuilding it and crying at the same time. Thousands upon thousands of normal sized Konohamarus were watching, looking at pictures of Hanabi while shaking their heads.

"KONO-KUN!" screamed Hanabi. Konohamaru skidded to a halt, but fell off the bridge. "Oops…"

* * *

Three hours had passed on the train and it was getting dark. Naruto and Hinata had come out of the video game room and were now sleeping in the very back. Anko was reading Icha Icha Paradise Volume 2, and all the boys were awake, except Sasuke who TenTen repeatedly knocked out.

"Chouji, I've always wanted to ask you something…" started Shikamaru.

"Yeah?" said Chouji as he looked up from his chips.

"Where do you get all those chips?"

"…"

"I wonder how that kid is doing…?" wondered Kankuro. "The one that let us come on this trip…"

"Making… Babies…" moaned Sasuke.

"Quiet you!" yelled TenTen as she smashed Sasuke with the mallet again.

"But… What if he's right?" called Jiraya.

"I'M TRYING TO READ!" screeched Anko from the front. "THE ONLY ONES ALLOWED TO TALK ARE ME AND KAKA-KUN! And Naruto I guess cause it's his trip, but he's sleepy-sleepy right now…"

"I'll shut him up!" volunteered TenTen as she threw her spare mallet at Jiraya's skull, knocking him out cold.

"Thank you TenTen. You can talk as well… Quietly…" said Anko and turned back to her book.

TenTen pulled out her "Neji-kun" book, and began to read. Okay, so it was Neji's journal, and most of it was telling how hard it was to keep it a secret that TenTen was sooooo beautiful. And of course, Neji thought it was still in his room.

"I'M BACK FOR MY ONE AND ONLY, MY NARUTO-KUN!" yelled Haku as he jumped through the window. Anko jumped up.

"NO! YOU WILL LEAVE AND SHUT THE HELL UP SO I CAN READ!" screeched Anko as she summoned a snake that bit Haku on the neck, who fell to the ground. "I feel better… Eh?"

"Reborn once again!" called Haku in a heavenly voice. "Now… SASUKE IS MY ONE AND ONLY!"

"NO MORE DISTUPTING ANKO-CHAN!" yelled Kakashi. He picked up Haku and threw him out the window. Then he sat down and went back to trying to learn how to win Anko's heart.

'How romaaaaaantic…' thought Anko as Haku flew out the window and stared at Kakashi.

"Funny how neither Sakura nor Ino protested…" said Shikamaru. "How troublesome…"

"Hey! Kakashi! Anko!" called Jiraya as he ran over to them. "Here are two new manuscripts for Icha Icha Paradise Volumes Six and Seven! Tell me what you think!"

"Gimee!" yelled Anko in a chibi voice. Kakashi just took the stack of papers and went back to reading his "Snake Girl" book, and Jiraya went to the john.

'I think... I think I'll ask Lee out!' yelled Sakura in her mind.

'I'll make sure _I'm_ not troublesome...' Ino giggled mentally. It was an evil giggle, and Shikamaru unconciously shivered.

'Babies…' thought the unconscious Sasuke. He saw little blue haired Naruto's without the whisker marks and white eyes running around in his head.

* * *

"Where are all my ninjas?" asked Tsunade.

"On vacation maam…" replied Shizune.

"THEN I'M GOING TOO!" yelled Tsunade. "Pack your bags, we're going to the beach! Or wherever they went… I want you to find out as soon as possible!"

"Of course…" muttered Shizune with a sigh.

* * *

Everyone simply went to sleep in their seats, and now it was breakfast…

"BACON!" yelled Chouji happily as he attacked the buffet.

"Ino! Come here!" yelled Sakura from the back of the bus. Everyone was up and moving now. "This is the most kawaii thing I've ever seen!"

"What?" said Ino as she walked over. Suddenly, a camera appeared in her hands.

There, on the very back seat, was Naruto with an arm wrapped protectively around Hinata's shoulders. Hinata's hands were against Naruto's chest, and his head was leaning on her's. Hinata's legs were curled up on the seat.

"Let's not wake them…" whispered Ino, and after taking a ton of pictures, the duo carefully snuck away. Ino was now sitting on the floor (the aisle was about 10 feet wide) next to Shikamaru. "Hey Shika-kun…"

"Hn?"

"Wanna make some babies? Or uh… Practice?"

Shikamaru turned to her for a second, then he passed out.

"Darn… Well it never worked on Sasuke, so maybe I should act normal?" wondered Ino out loud, while everyone who had witness that scooted away from her.

* * *

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled an evil voice above the train. "I, the super powerful, mighty, not to mention SEXY, UCHIHA ITACHI, shall take over this train, and bring Naruto to Akuatsuki so we can throw him a birthday party! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You're an idiot…"

"Shut up Kisame! I find it so unfair, UNJUST that such a wonderful person could be treated so horribly…"

"NARUTO-KUN IS MINE!"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Haku! My love!"

"Get away Zabuza!"

"B-But…"

"WHO ARE YOU? I MUST FIGHT YOU ALL!"

"Why is it that I look like a freak, a shark of all things, yet I'm the only normal bad guy? Maybe I'll join the good guys or something…"

"DIE!"

"FOR MY NARUTO-KUN!"

"B-But Haku…"

"I KILL YOU ALL FOR SAKE OF BIRTHDAY PARTIES! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yup. I'm becoming a good guy… To Konoha!"

"NOOOOOO KISAME HAS LEFT ME! NOW, MY ONLY FRIEND IS GONE… Sob…"

* * *

"Did you hear something?" asked Kankuro. Temari shrugged, while Gaara munched on an ice cream sandwich.

"Ice cream… I scream… For… Ice cream…" chanted Gaara, in a hypnotic state.

"GAARA IS HIGH!" exclaimed Kankuro suddenly. "It's the only explanation!"

"Shut up… Or I'll kill you" spat Temari, suddenly looking like a female Gaara.

"Y-Yes maam…" stammered Kankuro as he retreated back to his seat.

"Hey I know!" exclaimed Sakura. "I have these really cool drinks! We can share!"

"Um… Forehead girl?" stammered Ino.

"What?" replied Sakura cheerily.

"Why are the drinks in bottles?" asked Ino.

"Because it's cool!" chirped Sakura, and handed the bottles to everyone, who began to happily drink, except for Gaara.

"NO! ME WANT ICE CREAM! I scream for ICE CREAM, not bottles…" said Gaara. He dumped the ice cream in his mouth and went to sleep.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" exclaimed Sasuke as he sat up, finally fully awake. "Jeez… What the hell is going on, and why… MY KAMI! YOU'RE ALL BABIES!"

Sasuke, after seeing everyone drinking from bottles, passed out.

"Damn, I wanted to use the mallet…" complained TenTen.

**_End Chapter 3_**


	4. Ch4: Dream Sequences and Itachi!

Konohamaru's Gift 

Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides (Chapter One) The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", the train, and (Chapter Two) Kakashi's new book. Nothing new in chapter 3 or 4 really…

Chapter 4: Dream Sequences and Itachi!

* * *

"Kono-kun…?" said Hanabi uncertainly. She shook the unconscious boy. "You okay?"

"I love you Hanabi-chan…" moaned Konohamaru in his sleep. "Oh you love Udon…? Oh well… I know! I'll build a temple to worship you!"

"Oh poor Kono-kun…" said Hanabi sadly as she cuddled the unawake boy. "I love you too Kono-kun… So wake up…"

"Hanabi…?" stammered Konohamaru. The next thing he knew he was in a big hug. "Wanna go for ramen?"

"Your treat…" replied Hanabi with a smile.

* * *

"I wonder how Konohamaru is doing…?" wondered Naruto with a sigh. He turned to the seat next to him, where Hinata was asleep. He shook her slightly.

"No, I don't wanna visit Hanabi and her kids again… Being an auntie's tiring…" mumbled Hinata in her slip. She was shaken again and finally woke up. "H-Huh…? W-Where am I?"

"Fell asleep. We're on the train, 'member?" asked Naruto. Hinata blushed.

"Y-Yes…" stammered Hinata.

"Okay then, I'm gonna have some breakfast, you want anything?" asked Naruto. He turned to the buffet, which magically refilled all its food. "There's bacon, eggs, ramen, toast, ramen, and sausage."

"T-Toast and e-eggs…" stammered Hinata with a gulp. Naruto grinned and walked over to get the food. 'Why is Naruto-kun being so nice to me lately?'

**Hinata Dream Sequence…**

"N-Naruto-kun…?" stammered Hinata as they stepped off the train. "How come y-you've been s-so n-nice to me l-lately…?"

"Because I love you, my sweet Hinata-chan!" yelled Naruto dramatically, suddenly in a tuxedo. "Will you marry me?"

"OF COURSE!" squealed Hinata happily and she and Naruto kissed.

"Sister!" called a voice, Hinata turned around to see Hanabi, holding a baby in her arms and looking plump.

"Who's this?" questioned Hinata as she looked at the baby. Konohamaru walked up and put his am around Hanabi's waist.

"Our daughter, Mihoshi. Your niece." Explained Konohamaru. He patted Hanabi's stomach. "Twins on the way."

"I'M AN AUNTIE!" screamed Hinata happily. "AND I'M MARRYING NARUTO-KUN! YAAAAAY!"

"I'm so jealous of her…" whispered Sakura.

"Yeah, she got the best guy in the world." Agreed Ino. "But the great Hinata-sama deserves the best of course! She is the strongest of us after all!"

**Back to Outside Hinata's Dream**...

"Is she okay…?" stammered Naruto as he sat down next to Hinata, who eyes had stars in them and she had a loopy grin on her face.

"I think so…" said Kiba concernedly.

"Who cares, she looks cute like that…" said Naruto with a sigh. Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me, but dogs are hotter then those humans…" muttered Kiba. Naruto's eyes widened. "What?"

"Kiba, you really scare me…" stammered Naruto as he inched away from Kiba while bringing Hinata with him.

* * *

"Isn't that cute?" giggled Ino, pointing to Naruto and Hinata. Shikamaru shrugged.

"Who cares?" said the lazy ninja.

"ME!" shrieked Ino angrily.

"THE BABIES!" screamed Sasuke as he stood up and looked around frantically. "THEY'RE AFTER ME! THEY WANT MY SEXY BODY TO MULTIPLY TO BECOME THE PERFECT SPECIES!"

"NO!" yelled a voice. Everyone turned to the window, and Itachi jumped into the room. "I AM THE ONE THE BABES WANT!"

"I SAID BABIES YOU FAMILY MURDURING MONSTER!" yelled Sasuke angrily as he glared at his brother.

"Eww… You think babies are hot? Man, I'm glad I didn't kill you…" stammered Itachi, before turning to Naruto. "IT IS YOU I WANT!"

"NARUTO-KUN IS MINE!" shrieked Hinata as she tackled Itachi.

"NO! DON'T HURT HIS SEXYNESS!" wailed TenTen, Ino, and Sakura.

"What about us?" yelled Neji, Shikamaru, and Lee.

"Oh yeah…" said TenTen and Sakura.

"ITACHI IS BETTER LOOKING THEN YOU, YOU BAKA!" yelled Ino. Shikamaru ran out of the room sobbing.

"That was coooooold." Said Itachi knowingly, before turning back to Naruto. "WE WANT YOU NARUTO!"

"Why?" asked Naruto. "To do evil things for you?"

"You know how wrong that sounded?" questioned Sakura. Naruto stuck his tongue out at her.

"NO! SO WE CAN-" started Itachi, but was interrupted by Kiba.

"Why are you talking in capitals only?"

"DON'T KNOW! MAYBE BECAUSE I'M YELLING!" yelled Itachi. He was about to reveal his almighty birthday party plan to Naruto, when he heard cracking knuckles behind him.

"You interrupted my love time with Kaka-kun…" hissed Anko as she cracked her knuckles. "You go bye-bye now."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" yelled Itachi as he was thrown out the window.

"Oh yeah, I forgot!" exclaimed TenTen suddenly. She pulled out her giant mallet and bonked Kiba and Sasuke on the head. "That's better!"

"Anyway…" said Anko. She grabbed Kakashi, who suddenly became nervous. "I plan to go home sexually satisfied. Now get a move on Kakashi!"

"Eh…?" stammered all the ninja.

"WOO HOOOOOO! THIS IS MY DREAM WOMAN!" yelled Kakashi as Anko dragged him into the bathroom.

Several Minutes and Disturbing Noises Later…

"Why is Hinata-chan looking at me like that…?" stammered Naruto.

"Having a fantasy probably." Said Ino with a shrug. Then, Shikamaru walked into the car.

"I saw things I shouldn't have." Said the horror stricken boy.

"I wish I coulda watched…" muttered Jiraya under his breath.

"They won't be stopping for hours…" stammered Shikamaru.

"Oh boy! I can make 'Icha Icha: Reality!' now, using those two!" yelled Jiraya as he ran to the bathrooms.

"Um… So who's up for sleep?" suggested Naruto.

"ME!" yelled Hinata as she jumped on top of Naruto and was fast asleep in moments. Naruto found this position oddly peaceful. He didn't want this to end, having an angel sleeping on him, being on a train…

"G' night…" mumbled Naruto as he fell asleep, to dream of ramen and Hinata.

"Well this was a short period of time being awake…" muttered Chouji.

"What?"

End Chapter 4


	5. Ch5: Devils and Angels, everyone knows

_**Konohamaru's Gift**_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides (Chapter One) The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", the train, and (Chapter Two) Kakashi's new book. Nothing new in chapter 3 or 4 really… **

**_Chapter 5: Devil and, Angels, Everyone Knows!_

* * *

**

"Now what…?" wondered Konohamaru as he kicked the water with his feet. He and Hanabi were sitting on a rock by a lake.

"I know!" exclaimed Hanabi. He jumped up and grabbed Konohamaru's hand. "Come on! This way!"

Hanabi pulled Konohamaru to a small clearing, full of fruits and other food.

"Wow…" said Konohamaru. "Amazing."

"Yup, and only you and me know about it!" exclaimed Hanabi, giving the peace symbol.

"Let's eat!" exclaimed Konohamaru, running into it. Hanabi's eyes widened.

"Wait, we have to wash them first! They have bugs and poisons and stuff!"

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes to meet a faceful of hair.

"Eh…?" stammered Naruto. He slowly pushed Hinata off of him and looked around. Everyone was asleep. He walked over to the buffet, grabbed some food. He got up and jumped out the window and got on top of the train. It was night time.

Silently, Naruto leapt from car to car, and hopped in the conductor's room.

"Hi Master Iruka!" exclaimed Naruto, patting the sleep deprived ninja on the back.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH! I DIDN'T STEAL THE TOILET PAPER, IT WAS KAKASHI!" yelled Iruka, hopping up and down. He looked at Naruto and blinked. "Oh, Naruto… What are you doing here?"

"Well, I thought you might be hungry!" Naruto handed the food to Iruka, who gladly accepted it. "So, when do you think we'll arrive at the hot springs?"

"Hmm… At the end of the next chapter probably…" said Iruka with a shrug.

"Oh…" Naruto got up and left with a wave. "See ya Master Iruka!"

"Thanks for the food!" yelled Iruka. He shook his head. "Crazy kid…"

* * *

Hinata snapped her eyes open in time to see Naruto coming through the window.

"N-Naruto-kun… Where'd you go?" stammered Hinata.

"I went to see Master Iruka and give him some food!" said Naruto proudly as he sat crossed-legged next to Hinata, who was staring at him intently.

"Hey, um…"Hinata blushed and looked away. Naruto raised an eyebrow and got up and sat next to her, his arm around her shoulder.

"Is something wrong?" asked Naruto worriedly.

Time froze for everyone but Hinata. Two tiny Hinata's appeared on each of her shoulders. One was wearing black leather, barely clothed, and had a whip. She had a tattoo of Naruto's head on her shoulder, and a blue/black flame tattoo on her chest. The other was wearing white robes that revealed almost as much as the black leather, and had a halo.

"Tell him now! Then ask him if you can bare his children!" exclaimed Devil Hinata with a perverted grin… Which was her normal grin.

"No! Ask him if he loves you first! Then romantically, in veeeeeery slow motion, kiss him!" exclaimed Angel Hinata.

"Sexually Assault him!" exclaimed Devil Hinata. Angel Hinata and Hinata blinked and stared at her. "What? I want action! I waited soooooo long for you to get into puberty, and NOW you're a friggin wimp! That's it, I'm going to see the Devil Narutos!"

She disappeared with a poof of smoke.

"There are two Devil Naruto-kuns…?" stammered Hinata. Angel Hinata nodded.

"Yes, but one of them has a cracked halo and white leather clothes." Explained Angel Hinata. "He became that way after… Well, I'm sure you know…"

"After what?" asked Hinata, wanted to know more about her Naruto-kun.

"Well…" Angel Hinata looked in both directions and jumped over to Hinata's ear and began whispering. "Naruto-kun never had any friends, until he met Konohamaru. So when he was young, Angel Naruto suggested he make a doll for a friend. However, when the adults were making a raids of Naruto-kun's apartment, they burned everything, including the doll. Naruto-kun was heartbroken, and Angel Naruto went bad. Shortly after that, Naruto became the greatest prankster in all of Konoha!"

"Poor Naruto-kun…" said Hinata. "I shall…"

**TIME UNFREEZE!**

"Hinata-chan…?" stammered Naruto, waving his arm in front of her face.

Hinata grinned evilly and pushed her face right in Naruto's

* * *

Sakura slowly opened her eyes and rubbed them. She looked around and remembered where she was. After stretching, she looked and noticed breakfast wasn't ready yet.

Sakura walked over to the back and her jaw dropped. She silently woke up Ino, Temari and TenTen. She put a finger to her lips to silence them.

"What is it?" whispered Ino curiously. Sakura motioned for them to follow her, but then Temari tripped on Sasuke.

"Babies… Want my… sexyfullness…" muttered Sasuke as he turned over and went back to sleep.

Temari growled and kicked him in... Well you know.

"Damn you Itachi…" Sasuke curled up to protect himself as Itachi brutally assaulted him with an army of gun toting babies in his dream.

"Look!" whispered Sakura. Three jaws dropped. Naruto and Hinata were curled up, there hair and clothes ruffled, their hands in each others shir-

"Aren't they a little _young_ to be doing something like that?" yelled Chimon, jumping off Sevetenks's shoulder and glaring.

"What were they doing?" asked Hika-chan curiously. Sevetenks gulped nervously.

"Um… Well, they were… They _weren't_ doing 'it'." Sevetenks crossed his arms and nodded. Chimon rolled her eyes.

"They're like… Thirteen or something!" exclaimed Chimon. She blinked once, then twice. "Wait… Forget I said anything. Humans are almost as perverted as you Saiyans sometimes…"

"Exactly." Sevetenks crossed his arms, then glared. "HEY!"

"Wha's pur-ver-tid?" asked Hika-chan her eyes wide and innocent, bouncing up and down. Sevetenks sighed and got back on his chair.

"Back to the story…" muttered Sevetenks as he began typing furiously, Hika-chan nibbling on a giant choclate chipcookie next to him and Chimon watching the screen from a perch on Sevetenks's shoulder.

* * *

Naruto and Hinata were curled up, there hair and clothes ruffled, Hinata's hands (Chimon: Much better) up Naruto's shirt, Naruto's arms wrapped around Hinata, both snoring peacefully.

"Damn I wanted to play matchmaker…" muttered Sakura as she crossed her arms. "Hey where are Master Kakashi and Anko-san?"

"OOOOHHHHHHHH!" came from the bathrooms. Sakura paled.

"Never mind…" Temari rolled her eyes, when they heard yawns. Everyone else was waking up.

"Hey everyone! Come over here!" exclaimed Sakura with a bright smile.

**End Chapter 5**


	6. Ch6:Flirting with a side dish of picturs

**Konohamaru's Gift**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, besides (Chapter One) The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", the train, and (Chapter Two) Kakashi's new book. Nothing new in chapter 3 or 4 really…

**Chapter 6: Flirting with a side dish of pictures

* * *

**

Konohamaru and Hanabi were staring at it.

"So Naruto-sama painted that?" asked Hanabi, pointing at the Hokage monument. Already Konohamaru's idolizing of Naruto had rubbed off on her.

"Uh huh." Said Konohamaru. "Naruto-nii-sama (got the idea from Yu-Gi-Oh!) is the best!"

"Nuh uh!" exclaimed Hanabi.

"Oh yeah?" countered Konohamaru, looking at the younger (slightly) girl. "Then who _is_ the best?"

"Well…" Hanabi gulped and blushed profusely. In a voice that was barely a whisper, she said: "I think t-that _you_ are the b-b-best Kono-kun…"

"Oh…" Konohamaru smiled and pulled Hanabi closer to him, as they watched the sun rise. They had spent the whole day together, and slowly were drifting off to sleep. "G' night… Love you…"

"Love you too Kono-kun…" whispered Hanabi as the duo fell asleep under the new sun.

* * *

TenTen, Ino, and Temari were taking pictures of the sleeping Naruto and Hinata, while Sasuke was wondering what their kids would look like, before being knocked out by TenTen. Shikamaru was watching Ino, while pretending to do a crossword. Neji was using the Byakugan to make everything but TenTen invisible to him, and he was smiling to himself. Lee and Sakura were eating toast and talking about their senseis, and Jiraya had come back after Kakashi and Anko collapsed from exhaustion.

"So…" said Lee. "Why is Kakashi-sensei always late anyway?"

"Actually, we got so used to it, we never really thought about it…" said Sakura, leaning back. Lee titled his head. "Well, at least, _I_ never thought about it. Naruto probably did from time to time, and I doubt Sasuke even noticed. That guy is so full of himself it's sickening…"

"You mean… You don't like Sasuke-san anymore…?" asked Lee hopefully.

"Nope." Said Sakura with a grin.

"GRAAAAAH!" screamed Sasuke in his sleep. TenTen pulled out her mallet and hit him on the head. "Damn you Itachi…"

"Baka Uchiha…" muttered TenTen with a growl.

>_ATTENTION STUDENTS OF NINJITSU! WE SHALL ARRIVE AT THE HIDDEN HOTSPRINGS IN AN HOUR OR SO! AS A NOTE, WE'LL BE THE ONLY ONES THERE. I'LL CONTACT YOU AGAIN WITHIN TWENTY MINUTES OF ARRIVAL. THIS IS MASTER IRUKA, SIGNING OUT!_

"Wow…" said Sakura. "We're almost to the hot springs!"

"EEEEE!" squealed all the girls. Except Temari and TenTen, so it was just Ino and Sakura.

"Wow…" said Shikamaru. Then he blinked and a brilliant plan began to formulate… Him… Ino… Hot springs…

Shikamaru fell over with a nose bleed, grinning mischievously.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the bathroom…_

Anko and Kakashi were grinning mischievously as they played Kitsune-pon. After faking sex for Shikamaru (and having some for a while) they had cleaned themselves off, and discovered Jiraya was watching them. They threw him out and were just about to leave when they discovered Naruto's secret room.

"Hohohohoho!" laughed Grandma on Nin-Ja-Oh, the game. "Buy these scrolls for your deck of scrolls! Hohohohoho!"

"Okay!" exclaimed Kakashi's character, Ningi. "Do you want any cards, Anko the Almighty?"

"Otay!" chirped the chibi Anko on the screen, Anko's character.

"We win!" exclaimed kakashi and Anko together.

* * *

_Well… That was interesting… Let's see how Tsunade and Shizune are doing…_

"Damn traffic… We have to get to topless beach!" yelled Tsunade.

'Why me…?' thought Shizune as her head fell into her hands.

* * *

Neji stared at TenTen, who sat next to him.

"Hello." Said the Hyuuga.

"Hiya Neji-kun!" laughed TenTen as she latched onto Neji's arm, turning him bright red.

"Um… Ten-chan…?" stammered Neji nervously.

"Don't worry! I'm a gentle lover!" said TenTen happily, and Neji spat out his drink.

"What did you say?" exclaimed Neji.

"I said, aren't they perfect for one another?" asked TenTen. Neji sighed.

"Um… Sure, whatever…" stammered Neji.

"Wanna make out?" asked TenTen. Neji stared at her.

"Huh?" stammered Neji.

"Will you stare at me when I get out of the hot springs?" asked TenTen. Neji stared at her.

"Are you flirting with me?" asked Neji incredulously.

"Mayyyyyyyyyybe…" said TenTen.

"BABIES!" yelled Sasuke. TenTen got up and kicked him.

"Oh well…" said Neji with a sigh.

>_WE'RE ARRIVING SOON! GET BACK IN YOUR SEATS!_

**End Chapter 6**


	7. Ch7: Arrival at the Hot Springs

_**Konohamaru's Gift**_

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, besides (Chapter One) The "Shinobi Sphere", Chibi-Kitsune, "Kitsune-pon", the train, and (Chapter Two) Kakashi's new book. Nothing new in chapter 3 or 4 really… Or 5, 6 and 7… Actually, I own the hotel at the hot springs, but the name of it's in Chapter 8! (Or will be)

**_Chapter 7: Arrival at the Hot Springs

* * *

_**

Konohamaru and Hanabi grinned evilly. They both began rapidly shaking their spray paint cans.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" asked Hanabi uncertainly. Konohamaru nodded, up and down, up and down, and so on.

"Of course it is!" exclaimed Konohamaru. He pointed at one building. "We'll put 'Naruto-nii-sama, 6th Hokage' on that one, 'Konohamaru, 7th Hokage' right there, and-"

"What are you kids doing?" yelled an ANBU angrily. The two children slowly turned to see a masked man glaring at them.

"Uh… Spray painting people's houses…?" stammered Konohamaru.

"Well, you two are coming with me…" muttered the man.

"RUN AWAY!" yelled Konohamaru, picking Hanabi up bridal style and hightailing it out of there

"Stupid kids…" muttered the ANBU. He grinned under his mask and picked up the spray paint.

_**Billy Jones Rulez! **_

"Hey!" yelled a voice. An old woman with a broom walked out of the house the ANBU man (Billy Jones) had just defaced/

"Oops…" muttered Billy as he ran into the trees.

"Get back here you whippersnapper!" yelled the woman, flailing her broom like a sword.

* * *

Still yawning, Naruto and Hinata stepped out of the train first. Naruto waited for everyone get out of the train with their suitcases before turning to them.

"Okay." Said Naruto, pulling out another chart. It showed a hotel. "We will stay _here_ for three days."

"Wow…" chorused Ino, Sakura, and Temari. It was a fancy looking place, with a pool in the back, and there were pictures of an arcade and a restaurant inside.

"Next, the hot springs." Naruto turned the page on his chart, showing a large hot spring about the size of a large pool, with a wall in the middle. There was a smaller hot spring to the left the size of half a pool. "Now then. There is a large hot spring for each gender, and a smaller one for both. However-" Naruto chuckled. "You have to wear clothes in the unisex one."

Neji and Sakura both snapped their fingers, while Anko and Kakashi shrugged. Trees were just as good as toilet stalls.

"Okay, finally, the room arrangements." Naruto flipped the page.

"Bet you fifty bucks Naruto is with Hinata." Whispered Sakura to Ino.

"You're on!" replied Ino.

"Here we go…" Naruto grinned and read off the list.

* * *

In The 4 People Honeymoon Suites:

Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, Lee

Shikamaru, Ino, TenTen, Neji

In the 2 Person Rooms

Gaara and Temari

Jiraya and Chouji

Sasuke and Kankuro

Kiba and Shino

1 Person Suite

Iruka-sensei

* * *

"Excellent…" said Sakura as she counted the bills Ino angrily thrust into her hands, while Naruto began passing out brochures.

"Mmm… Look at the pictures of the honeymoon suites Neji-kun… It's like an apartment for two couples… And look… A waterbed…" whispered TenTen into Neji's ear, who was slowly turned a darker shade of crimson each minute.

'I'm stuck with the pervert… Great…' thought Chouji dryly.

"Oh by the way, in the 4 people rooms, there are only two beds, as you can see!" exclaimed Naruto, grinning. Hinata also grinned (though it was Devil Hinata's grin), so did Sakura since she knew since she was rooming with Naruto and Hinata, she would get to cuddle with lee every night for _three WHOLE_ days!

"Sakura-chan, I will sleep on the floor as Naruto-san and Hinata-san shall want one of the beds." Said Lee politely. Sakura smiled at his kindness, but shook his head and whispered in his ear.

"Lee-san, it took me a while because I was obsessed over Sasuke, but now I see what a great person you are. I _want_ to be in the same bed as you…" whispered Sakura. Lee blinked and turned bright red. "But we won't do anything, I know you're nervous about being in the same room as me, and that's okay."

Sakura gave Lee a quick peck on the lips, and walked back over to Ino giggling, while Naruto put up his chart with one hand and slapped Lee lightly on the back.

"Looks like you just got yourself a girlfriend." Laughed Naruto as he went to get Iruka from the front of the train.

"Um… I… Uh… Um…" spluttered Lee.

"Everyone, I'm gonna help Iruka-sensei get this thing in a place it won't cause trouble!" yelled Naruto from on top of the train. "You guys go to the rooms, 'kay? The keys are at the front desk, and they know you're with me!"

Naruto leapt to the front of the train and jumped into the room where Iruka was, and the train started moving again.

Hinata smiled and picked up Naruto's single suitcase. She had only brought one, and Naruto cut probably fit everything he owned in two, so while most of the girls were carrying three suitcases (okay, just Ino and Sakura. And Anko, but one suitcase was labeled: XXX. Adults only.) so she had no problem. And being a super strong ninja helps too.

"Oi…" muttered Shikamaru. He, somehow, unlike everyone, had noticed Neji and TenTen's flirting, meaning _he_ would probably end up in the same bed as Ino. "If only she had moved off of Sasuke, like Sakura…"

Shikamaru shook his head and glumly got a key from the front desk before going on an elevator alone and ahead of everyone else.

* * *

Ino stared as Shikamaru got into the elevator while she got the key to the room.

'What's up with him?' Ino asked herself. 'I thought he'd be happy… _I_ am…'

'Well gee!' yelled Ino's inner voice.

"_Eww… You think babies are hot? Man, I'm glad I didn't kill you…" stammered Itachi, before turning to Naruto. "IT IS YOU I WANT!" _

"NARUTO-KUN IS MINE!" shrieked Hinata as she tackled Itachi.

"NO! DON'T HURT HIS SEXYNESS!" wailed TenTen, Ino, and Sakura.

"_What about us?" yelled Neji, Shikamaru, and Lee. _

_  
"Oh yeah…" said TenTen and Sakura. "You are sexier..."_

"_ITACHI IS BETTER LOOKING THEN YOU, YOU BAKA!" yelled Ino. Shikamaru ran out of the room sobbing. _

'I broke his heart! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Ino fell to the ground and looked down, and she was surrounded by darkness except a spotlight on her.

"Drama queen…" muttered Sakura as she got her key.

"Yeah…" agreed Temari.

"Can I kill him?" asked Gaara nicely, pointing at Sasuke, who was screaming, running around in circles. He had stumbled on the daycare…

"No. He really didn't do anything wrong. He's just annoying…" replied Temari darkly.

"Damn…" muttered Gaara, snapping his fingers.

Everyone headed off to their rooms first to put away their suitcases, get changed, and then went down to the restaurant…

* * *

Naruto rested his cheek in his upturned palm and glared. Iruka shifted nervously in his seat.

"How did you run out of gas?" yelled Naruto angrily. "I thought trains ran on coal! Which we still have a ton of! Literally, have you seen the last cart?"

"Well, I was tired of shoveling so I messed with the engine…" said Iruka nervously.

"ARGH!" yelled Naruto, his face falling into theengine in front of him.

* * *

"Is he still chasing us?" asked Hanabi, who was still nuzzling Konohamaru's chest.

"Um… If I told you he wasn't chasing us at all and I liked carrying you, what would you say…?" stammered Konohamaru.

"I'd say… To the Ichiraku!" yelled Hanabi happily, giggling and glad.

End Chapter 7


	8. Ch8: Horny foxes, bikinis, and blue span...

_**Konohamaru's Gift: The Ultimate Vacation

* * *

**_

**Chapter 8:** Horny foxes, bikinis and blue spandex.

Naruto growled and Iruka grinned sheepishly.

"It's not like I _knew_ this would happen…" laughed Iruka as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO PUSH A TRAIN? YOU SHOULD!" roared Naruto furiously. He blinked. "A gas station! PUSH!"

* * *

Hanabi and Konohamaru happily slurped down their ramen, enjoying the taste and each other's company.

"Know what we should do?" said Hanabi after finishing. Konohamaru gulped what he was chewing and looked at her. 'Hanabi, you are a genius.'

"What?" questioned Konohamaru. Hanabi grinned mischievously.

"We can get my daddy to give us an 'arranged' marriage." Said Hanabi with a grin. 'Yeah… Now he'll spit out his ramen and go: "WHAT?"'

Smiling, Hanabi sipped her ramen, grinning at her newfound pranking genius.

"Okay!" chirped Konohamaru happily, and went back to his ramen. Hanabi spat her ramen out.

"WHAT?"

* * *

Hinata kicked her feet as she sat on the chair, waiting for Naruto to return. Then, Sakura walked up to her in a pink bikini.

"Me, Ino, and TenTen are going down to the pool. Wanna come?" questioned Sakura., grinning as Lee walked into the room, dropped his soda and jaw, and swiftly walked out.

"No thank you Sakura-san…" said Hinata politely. "I am going to wait for Naruto-kun to get back, then go to the hot springs with him."

"Ah…" Sakura nodded and walked out of the suite after slipping on some sandals and wrapping a towel around her waist, stopping to watch Lee, who was practicing yoga in their bedroom. Finally, she headed out.

Hinata heard a loud BEEP and pulled out the hot chocolate from the microwave, she had made four mugs, but Sakura had left and Naruto wasn't back yet.

"Lee-san, would you like some hot chocolate?" asked Hinata. She heard Lee stop his yoga, and saw him walk into the room.

"Sure!" exclaimed Lee cheerily, taking one of the mugs.

* * *

TenTen pulled on her black swimming shorts and camouflage bikini top, and walked out of her and Neji's room, to see Neji changing the channel on the TV, again and again and again and-

"Neji-kun, what exactly are you doing?" questioned TenTen as Ino left the hotel room in a silver one piece bathing suit.

"Watching television. There isn't a TV at the Hyuuga Estate, and if there were, I wouldn't be able to watch it anyway." Muttered Neji dryly. TenTen blinked as the channel stopped on a show with a green man fighting a black haired teenager.

"Oh…" said TenTen. "Want to come down to the pool?"

"No thank you." replied Neji softly, and TenTen sighed and left, leaving Neji to discover the world known as Dragon Ball Z. Let's just hope he doesn't go fan-boy on us.

* * *

Sasuke opened his eyes to meet darkness.

"Urgh…" moaned the younger Uchiha as he sat up. "Where the hell am I…?"

"So, you're awake…" muttered Kankuro, and Sasuke looked at him. "We're in the hotel room."

"What?" exclaimed Sasuke in surprise. "But… But the last thing I remember was when Hinata and Naruto went into the bathrooms… And then the Sexy No Jutsu…"

"You mean in the beginning Chapter 2?" questioned Kankuro. Sasuke nodded. "Well guess what. We're already in the middle of Chapter 8!"

"What the hell happened to me…?" moaned Sasuke as he rubbed his head. "I feel like I've been attacked by mallets and other heavy stuff… I had a weird dream too. Itachi tried to kill me with an army of kids that looked like Naruto and Hinata… I think I dreamed it cause of what happened before I got knocked out. Hmm…"

"So you've been sleepwalking this entire time?" questioned Kankuro with raised eyebrows. Sasuke shrugged.

"I guess so…" Sasuke sighed. "Man I need a nap."

Sasuke sighed and wrapped the blankets around himself. Shrugging, Kankuro headed off to the dual-sex hot springs to see if any SEXAH WOMANFOLK were there.

* * *

Itachi grinned as the hotel came into view, with Zabuza and Haku yelling at each other and not too far behind him.

"Naruto-kun…" whispered Itachi. "My family did not celebrate otouto's birthday, so I had to kill them… I will make sure you have a birthday party before you return to Konoha… Or I will kill Haku and Zabuza trying…"

* * *

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Neji as he ran out of his hotel room. Shikamaru was staring at him like he was insane…

"The hell…?" murmured Shikamaru slowly. He shook his head. "Too troublesome…"

His eyes widened when he realized what Neji was wearing.

"Blue spandex…?" Shikamaru's eyes widened as he remembered "Sexy Ino" from the Chunin Exams, trying to convince Neji to give up the scroll… Ino didn't start liking Sasuke until she saw him in his shower… "For once… This _isn't_ too troublesome…"

Shikamaru quickly ran after Neji to stop him from prancing around in front of Ino in spandex. If this mission fails…

No. It's dangerous thinking that way.

* * *

"Hah… Time… To die… Hah…" laughed a voice.

"Shut up." Said Naruto. "You were more threatening when you were killing people when I was a baby."

"Shut it kit. I've missed what, fifteen cycles? I'M FREAKING HORNY!"

"You're tiny."

"I'm a demon. And a fox. When I'm in heat…"

"I don't care."

"You suck."

"… You're going back inside. It looks weird when a fox with a woman's head flirts with them."

"Bastard."

"Bitch."

"Ch. I've been called worse."

"I'm sure."

Naruto closed his eyes and concentrated as he pulled Kyuubi back inside his navel. He turned to Iruka, who was gaping.

"The fox… Flirted with me…?" spluttered the confused Chunin.

"Guess so. Come on, I wanna see Hinata-chan in a bikini!" Naruto grinned impishly and ran as fast as he could towards the hotel. Iruka meekly followed.

* * *

"Lee-san…?" stammered Hinata. "I don't think this I-is a good idea…"

"Of course it is Hinata-san! The power of youth fill not fail me!" exclaimed Lee, giving the nice guy pose. However, that caused him to spill his hot chocolate all over Hinata. "Er… Gomen…"

There was bitter silence after that. Hinata's eyes seemed to change blood red for a moment as her swimsuit was covered in hot chocolate. Hinata glared furiously at Lee, and all shyness was gone.

"THAT WAS TO IMPRESS NARUTO-KUN! YOU RUINED IT YOU FREAK!" screamed Hinata as she performed a few seals. "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

"Oh… No…" stammered Lee as he backed away from the ten bikini-clad Hinata's.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" screamed the original as they began throwing things at Lee.

Thankfully, Lee got out of there. All the Hinata's hair was messed up, they were covered in hot chocolate, sweating, and in bikinis. And then Naruto walked in and all ten of the Hinata's smiled wickedly, not knowing the demon inside Naruto was in heat.

"Hinata Style Harem no Jutsu!"

* * *

"FOOLS! FEAR ME, FOR I AM NEJITA! PRINCE OF THE NINJANS!"

TenTen, Ino, and Sakura all turned to see Neji with a _weird_ hairdoo, wearing blue spandex, white gloves and boots, and smirking, not a Neji smirk, but a _sexy_ (to girls anyway. To guys like me, it looks creeeepy…) one.

"HAHAHAHAHA! FEAR ME! I AM THE STRONGEST! HAHAHAHA!" laughed Neji arrogantly. Shikamaru and lee chose then to enter, in time to see Ino and TenTen get a nose bleed, and Sakura throw up.

**End Chapter 8**


	9. Ch9: Whats going on with everyone else

_Konohamaru's Gift: The Ultimate Vacation_

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related.  
Note: This is NOT a _real_ chapter even though it's still Chapter Nine. A review inspired me to do this. The characters in this chapter show up later, but this is what they're doing right now… I'll try to give you a longer, sooner update.

* * *

Chapter **_9_**: What's going on with everyone else…

Tsunade grinned happily as her and Shizune's boat pulled into the beach.

"TOPLESS BEACH! WE MADE IT!" screamed Tsunade happily, grabbing Shizune and giving the younger woman a tight hug.

'Isn't _she_ the one always saying how evil the perverts are…?' thought Shizune, eyeing all the old men with copies of Icha Icha Paradise watching the volleyball game, who had suddenly turned to the two hugging women.

"Hey…" Tsunade frowned and looked left, then right, just as she was taking off her shirt. "Where the heck is everyone else?"

"Tsunade-sama…" stammered Shizune. "You never asked where they went, you started yelling about Topless Beach before I could check."

There was silence as Tsunade slowly pulled her shirt back over her belly button. Many old men glared at Shizune.

"Oh. I was sure Jiraiya would've brought them here…" Scowling, Tsunade walked back onto the boat, followed by a thankful Shizune. Glares that hit their back bounced right off, and the gazes moved lower and lower…

Shizune slowly turned around and let a small ball fall into her hands from the inside of her shirt, and threw it at the center of the beach. The old men stared as the boat pulled away, before Shizune snapped her fingers and purple gas shot them in the face, knocking them out and making it so their 'mini-me' wouldn't work for the next 3 days.

Grinning, Shizune walked back to her room, and Tsunade noted not to leave her alone with Jiraiya anytime soon.

* * *

"Ahem!" exclaimed Ibiki. He glared at the strange sword, before turning to it's even stranger owner. "Are you telling me you wish to betray the Akatsuki and join the Leaf?"

"Well…" Kisame nodded. "I found out Itachi wasn't a hot bondage chick, but a psycho _guy_. I had to get out. Plus, you know, they're all crazy."

"He's never met Anko-hime…" whispered one of the Chunin to a Jonin, who nodded.

"Imagine if they met and had… _Kids_…" the Chunin and Jonin shuddered, not knowing Anko was, at that time, having 'love time' with 'Kaka-kun' under a tree.

"Will you give us information pertaining to what Akatsuki wants with Naruto?" asked Ibiki. Kisame frowned.

"You know, I really don't know what the big deal is." Said Kisame.

"What do you mean by that?" snapped Ibiki. "Your former comrades, if you aren't a spy that is, all are S-Class Criminals!"

"Well, our main plan is why Orochimaru quit." Said Kisame. He leaned in close to Ibiki. "The stupid snake thought it was stupid, broke up with that weird exploding clay bird girl, and left."

"Well…" Ibiki frowned. This was getting him nowhere. "What _is_ this master plan of yours that you need the Kyuubi?"

"Huh?" Kisame blinked. "What the hell does this have to do with the Kyuubi?"

Ibiki growled.

"Don't play games, shark!" snapped Ibiki furiously. "You keep going on about 'The Legacy of the Yondaime'! KY-UU-BI! What other legacy could you be talking about that involves Naruto?"

"You don't _know_…?" said Kisame incredulously. "Wow. Itachi was right, you people _don't_ pay attention to the important stuff."

"What the hell are you talking about?" screamed Ibiki.

"Yondaime's Legacy…" started Kisame dramatically. "Is _his son_, Naruto."

There was complete and utter silence in the room. Ibiki's jaw had dropped and hung loosely on it's hinges.

"Oh." said Ibiki, before shaking his head furiously. "And what exactly do you want with him?"

Kisame grinned, showing off his sharky teeth.

"To throw him a birthday party like no other."

There was a collective gape.

"What?" said Ibiki, slowly clenching his fists.

"Well…" Kisame grinned. "You see, you Leaf bastards treat Naruto like dog poo. Even worse! So we formed together to create the ULTIMATE birthday party. Itachi-san holds birthdays in high regards you know. Why do you think he killed his clan? Why do you think his little brother wasn't hurt? It's so obvious! You're idiots!"

"You aren't making sense." Murmured Ibiki, glad to be getting somewhere.

"Itachi-san killed his clan because they didn't celebrate his otouto's birthday." Explained Kisame, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Are you joking?" asked Ibiki, knowing insane people were good at lying. Kisame shook his head and Ibiki's eyes widened. It was true. Itachi became a murderer simply because his little brother's birthday was forgotten. "Wait. Then why does Akatsuki also want Sabaku no Gaara?"

"Cause Gaara is Naruto's friend and he would help us." Explained Kisame. Ibiki's eyes widened.

These were no criminals bent on world domination.

These were super powered freaks trying to make someone happy at any means necessary.

The hell…?

* * *

Konohamaru, grinning like an idiot, pulled a stuttering and confused Hanabi to Hiashi's room. Marriage wasn't so bad… And, ya know, maybe in a year or two, when it was discussed, it'd be serious. Of course, as she thought about it, the more she wanted it…

But it had only been a joke!

End (_MINI_) Chapter 9


	10. Ch10: Prisoner, Demon Begone, and Sasuke

Konohamaru's Gift: The Ultimate Vacation  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Chapter 10: Prisoner, Demon Begone, and Sasuke!

"Are you serious?" questioned Hiashi, raising an eyebrow and looking between the two children before him. The male nodded seriously and his daughter nodded curtly. "Alright then. When Hanabi turns thirteen, you will be married. Now, you are fiancées. You can go now."

"SUGOI!" yelled Konohamaru as he ran through the Hyuuga estate, Hanabi riding piggyback. The girl was glad she had a few years before marriage. Plus, Konohamaru was officially hers no matter what. And she had gotten free ramen earlier, which she now thought was one of the best things on Earth.

So, all in all, it was a good day.

* * *

Tsunade glanced at the teen she had picked up. 

"You are a prisoner of the Hidden Leaf." Said Tsunade slowly.

"Ch. Screw you, old hag." Replied the young woman, crossing her arms. "So you stopped me from using my chakra and took my weapons? Big deal…"

"As I was saying, I have more… Pressing, matters to attend to…" said Tsunade slowly.

'A vacation hardly is a pressing matter…' thought Shizune dryly, Ton-Ton oinked happily.

Tayuya rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She ran away from Orochimaru and this was how they treated her? Jeez, good guys were weird…

If she only knew…

* * *

Seeing Neji's… Thing through spandex, was not something Sakura wanted to see. Ino and TenTen, obviously, had other opinions. 

"FEAR ME!" yelled Neji, throwing a chakra ball at the diving board. It evaporated before hitting the board. It was not an energy blast or a ninjutsu. Just a waste of chakra.

TenTen, after getting over the nosebleed, grabbed her waterproof camera from her chair, created a bunshin, and made it push Neji in the water.

"Drippy…" whispered TenTen as Neji jumped out, laughing arrogantly. TenTen rapidly began taking pictures, and Ino focussed a hungry gaze on Shikamaru.

"My eyes…" sobbed Sakura as Lee held her close.

'What is wrong with everyone today?' wondered Shikamaru.

Sasuke and Kankuro wandered in then. Everyone stared blankly at Sasuke, who tilted his head.

"What are you looking at?" growled the Uchiha.

"He was sleepwalking, er, talking, earlier." Explained Kankuro. Everyone shrugged. Some were glad the Uchiha was still sane, yet some were hoping thier newfound girlfriends would ignore the Uchiha.

* * *

Chouji was walking down to the ice cream buffet, when he saw Gaara and Temari also going there. Though no one feared Gaara anymore (_much_, at any rate, and only in some cases), no one but his siblings, Naruto, and Lee were all right with being alone with him. 

"Hello!" exclaimed Chouji, waving happily as he ran over. Gaara nodded at him, remembering the ice cream eating contest a month earlier. That earned a _small_ amount of respect, defeating Gaara in an ice cream contest. Ice cream was to Gaara as ramen was to Naruto, as dango was to Anko.

"Hello Chouji-san." Said Temari sweetly, smiling brightly. Chouji blinked. Temari was pretty. Chouji was, in his oppinion, fat. The fact he never saw his fanclub, or knew it existed, simply pushed him to believe this. Pretty girls didn't talk nicely to people like him. Hell, only Shikamaru and Naruto talked nicely to him. And Gaara, apparently.

"Temari-san, Gaara." Replied Chouji. The three continued walked towards the ice cream buffet. "So, how come you were in Konoha?"

"Sand threw us out." Growled Gaara darkly. "I was planning on leaving anyway, so it's all well."

"Yeah. And Tsunade-sama was going to make us official Leaf-Nin." Added Temari shyly. Chouji grinned.

"Well then when we get back, how about I take you two and maybe your brother out for barbecue?" asked Chouji. He wasn't going to be rude to newcomers to his town, or people he barely knew that were being kind to him.

Temari simply looked at Gaara, and the two shared a look. Chouji decided they were telepathically connected, or it was a sibling thing.

"… Kankuro won't come." Said Gaara. "And only if there will be ice cream afterwards."

"Alright then." Chouji grinned.

* * *

Jiraiya sighed. All the kids were getting together. It was depressing really. 

'I've loved her for as long as I can remember…' thought the Sannin wistfully. 'And she never once looked my way.'

Jiraiya glanced out the window and sat Anko and Kakashi, bare, cuddled against a tree. Jiraiya closed the window and stood up.

'Tsunade-hime…'

Jiraiya opened the door of his and Chouji's room. He slid it shut and leapt out the window, landing on a ledge. He stared down at the hotsprings. He had a perfect view. He disappeared in a poof of smoke.

'I'm just not in the mood today…'

* * *

Naruto blinked rapidly as he sat up from the couch. He looked around frantically, no sign of the strange teenager, and he wasn't really really short either. Apparently, it had been a strange dream. One that he refused to think about. 

He looked over at his side and smiled. Hinata was curled up against his chest, still in her bikini and tired. Apparently, using _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_ took a lot out of her. It was actually funny, and slightly dirty. First, ten bikini clad Hinatas had been running over to the shocked Naruto, pulling him into the room.

However, before anything happened, the bunshins started fighting with each other, until they agreed to… Well, Naruto wasn't sure, but just as they started kissing him, the bunshins popped and Hinata fainted. Not out of embarrassment, but because she was out of energy.

Naruto picked up Hinata and carried her into the bedroom, setting her down and wrapping her in a blanket. He kissed her on the forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Hinata-chan…" whispered Naruto as he closed the door to the bedroom.

Naruto sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to the food channel, and oddly enough, there was a special bulletin on TV…

* * *

Hyuuga Hanabi grinned as she leapt over a fallen log. She owed her sister's crush a lot. Hiashi no longer was as clan-obsessed as he had been, at least enough so to had let Hanabi not only join the academy, but even make friends. Hell, she was engaged now! 

She blinked when she saw movement in the bushes. Her target was _there_. Konohamaru was depending on her, she could not fail.

"Take this!" yelled Hanabi, throwing a shuriken into the bushes. There were yells and curses, and two heads poked out of the bush.

The heads, of course, belong to Moegi and Udon, Konohamaru's best friends, and the only other two members of the Konohamaru Corps.

Hanabi grinned…

"Hanabi-chan?" Konohamaru tilted his head, lost in thought. Hanabi looked behind her at the boy. She had been skipping stones, they had finished their picnic basket off a few minutes ago, and Konohamaru had decided to lie down.

"Yeah Kono-kun?" questioned Hanabi, eager to get back to skipping. Neji used to skip stones, and she was determined to break his record.

"Know what we should do?" asked Konohamaru, staring at his fiancée's face. She blinked when he didn't.

"What… And why are you staring?" asked Hanabi, raising an eyebrow. "You know… I could_ come over there…" _

"Well, why don't you?" Konohamaru grinned, and Hanabi smirked and walked over.

could 

Hanabi blinked. Wrong flashback.

"…" Hanabi sighed, looking up at Konohamaru, her head in his lap as he absentmindedly stroked her hair and told her about the adventures of himself, his friends Udon and Moegi, and Naruto.

"You know what? We should get Udon and Moegi and go on an adventure!" exclaimed Konohamaru, grinning. Hanabi raised an eyebrow.

"You're joking, right?" questioned Hanabi. Konohamaru looked at her, feigning being hurt. "… Fine, damn it."

"Alright then… I'll go that way, you go this way." With that, Konohamaru was gone, leaving Hanabi's head to hit the ground. She clutched her head and growled.

"Somehow, someday, I'll get my revenge Kono-kun…" Hanabi smirked and leapt into the trees in the direction that Konohamaru had pointed.

Hanabi nodded, that was the flashback she wanted.

"Yeah, Kono-kun wants you guys. Let's go."

* * *

Chouji, to his surprise, was having a fairly good time with Gaara and Temari. Gaara seemed to like Chouji, nowhere near as much as he liked Naruto, but enough not to stare at him, at the ready, like he did when looking at Sasuke. 

"Waiter. I want chocolate vanilla swirl." commanded Gaara, when the waiter came for the check.

"I'll take…" Chouji rubbed his chin and gazed over the menu. "Strawberry. Yeah, that sounds good."

"Yeah, I'll have that too." added Temari. She smiled at Chouji, who blushed. Gaara, however, was watching the news. The special news that only aired in this particular channel, the FOOD channel.

"… Excellent…" Gaara smirked when the man on the TV announced a new topping.

"Do you have a tailed beast sealed in you?"

Temari's head snapped from looking at her empty ice cream bowl to the TV.

"Do you hate being pestered by their constant need for bloodshed?"

"What's a Bijuu?" wondered Chouji out loud. However, his mind cleared away that thought when a bowl of ice cream was sat in front of him.

"Or is your demon female and in heat? If so…"

Gaara grinned evilly as he pulled a bottle out of his pocket and sprinkled it on his ice cream. He ignored the yells of protest in his head.

"Then try Demon Begone! Simply sprinkle it on ice cream, eat it, and the demon won't bother you for a minimum of an entire week! Side effects include but are not limited to: happiness, increased amount of smiling, and sleep."

"Gaara…" Temari coughed and leaned over to whisper in her brother's ear. "Have you told Naruto about this? He deserves to know…"

"This product was created by Sabaku no Gaara, and all proceeds go to the Gaara Foundation."

"… The Gaara Foundation? Why is there one of those?" questioned Temari. Gaara shrugged.

"Read the mang-."

There were crashes heard from the hallway. The doors flew off their hinges and hit the wall, and there stood Naruto, looking possessed.

"Give me ice cream. One chocolate cone to go, extra Demon Begone on top."

* * *

Sakura decided to go to the dual sex hot springs, since everyone had suddenly shown up at the pool. And Sakura was pulling Lee with her. 

"Lee-kun! Come on!" Sakura crossed her arms and looked at the door. Naruto had run past her when she walked in, and hadn't come back. She didn't know where Hinata was, but her and Naruto's door was closed.

"Sakura-chan…" stammered Lee as he walked out. "Er…"

Sakura smiled brightly and grabbed Lee's arm, and ran out into the hallway to nearly crash into Naruto. He blinked.

"Hi…" Naruto tilted his head and walked past the two into the hotel room, holding an ice cream cone protectively.

"… Come on!" exclaimed Sakura, smiling even more at lee, who grinned back. His teeth pinged.

* * *

Sasuke stood atop the hotel. 

Itachi was nearby… He could feel it… Itachi wanted Naruto, but Sasuke wanted Itachi…

"Damn it… And I was sleepwalking too…" Sasuke scowled. "I'll avenge my clan someday…"

Sasuke leapt off the top of the building, preparing himself for a landing.

However, what the Uchiha lad didn't know is that he was about to fall right into the girl's hot springs, and in addition, the girls were a bit… Amorous…

Sasuke was falling to his doom.

* * *

Zetsu tilted his head. 

"So… Kisame-san was captured?" questioned the plant-man.

"No. He betrayed us."

"… And?" Zetsu still didn't know what was going on.

"Bring him back."

"Oh." Zetsu shrugged and walked out of the cave.

* * *

Tsunade grinned when the carriage passed a large sign. A sign for a hot springs. 

"…" Tayuya glared at the sign and Shizune rubbed her temples. Things were about to get interesting, that was for sure…

End Chapter 10

End Note: I hope people won't mind GaaraOC, since I really can't think of anyone for him... Any ideas for an existing character?It's either THAT or leave him alone.


End file.
